Mental Health and Identity Support for First-Generation Americans: A Therapist’s Perspective
- Dr. Nouna Jalilzadeh
- Jul 19
- 3 min read
Updated: Jul 24
Being first-generation often means being the bridge between two vastly different worlds. You carry your family's dreams while trying to build your own. You code-switch, you translate, you adapt. And while your strength and resilience are undeniable, beneath it all lies a quiet emotional cost—guilt, identity confusion, burnout, and grief. This blog post is a love letter to first-gen individuals navigating dual cultural expectations, and a reminder: you’re not alone.
Breaking It Down
Guilt and Gratitude
Many first-gen individuals live in deep gratitude for the sacrifices their parents made. Success doesn’t feel personal, it feels collective. And with that comes an often unspoken pressure: to succeed, to uplift, to make it all worth it.
This gratitude, while genuine, can morph into guilt, especially when choosing paths that diverge from familial expectations. In today’s world, particularly in the U.S., where immigrants (documented and undocumented) continue to be targeted and marginalized, it’s not uncommon to feel guilt even for having a sense of safety or stability.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or uncertain it makes sense. It’s scary. But know this: you have inner strength, ancestral wisdom, and community. And if it doesn’t feel that way right now, we’re here to help you find it. We get it. We feel it too.
Cultural Disorientation
At home, you're expected to honor tradition; in public, you're expected to assimilate. That constant toggling between languages, values, and expectations creates identity fatigue. You may feel like you’re always performing and never fully belonging anywhere.
That ambiguity can be disorienting, leaving you asking: “Who am I, really?”
But you are not lost—you are layered. And the space between cultures is where some of the most powerful identities are formed.
Emotional Labor
First-gen folks often serve as emotional anchors and unofficial advocates for their families—translating, researching, interpreting, and guiding. You may have taken on parenting roles for your own parents due to language barriers or unfamiliarity with systems not designed for immigrant families.
While your peers may have focused solely on school and friendships, you navigated bills, legal documents, and cultural gaps. That emotional labor can feel invisible, isolating, and exhausting.
Therapy, for many, wasn’t modeled or seen as necessary. It may have felt like a luxury. But caring for yourself is not selfish—it’s revolutionary.
Reclaiming Identity
Healing means knowing you can honor your culture while also choosing your path. You don’t need to fit into Western models of independence or success to be valid. If you’ve felt confused or silenced, this is your reminder: your voice matters. Your dual identity is not a liability, it’s a gift. You are made of roots and resilience. Your values, even when they don't align with dominant norms, are worthy of celebration. You don’t need to explain or justify your sense of responsibility. You get to be unapologetically you.
Suggestions for Navigating First-Gen Experiences
Find Community: Seek spaces (virtual or in-person) where your lived experience is reflected. Whether that’s cultural groups, support circles, or social media pages—being seen matters.
Access Support: The National Immigrant Justice Center (NIJC) offers resources that may help you feel safe, informed, and less alone.
Read Healing-Centered Literature: Books like Break the Cycle by Dr. Mariel Buqué and The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté & Daniel Maté offer powerful insights into intergenerational trauma, cultural disconnection, and the importance of reclaiming our inner truth.
Create Your Own Rituals: Journaling, prayer, intentional rest, or mindfulness practices—whatever helps you connect with your voice and body—can become powerful grounding tools.
Choose the Right Therapist: You deserve a clinician who sees your full humanity. This may mean someone who shares your cultural background or someone trained in cultural humility and trauma-informed care.
We Are Here For You
At Helping Hands Psychotherapy, we understand that first-generation experiences are layered, sacred, and often overlooked. We see your story, and we’re honored to hold space for it. Whether through therapy, community-building, or cultural reconnection—you deserve support that honors all of you.
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